2 hours of torture

Jon always asks me why I don't do more of the shopping during the day instead of waiting til he gets home(I'm pretty sure he thinks that I am trying to avoid him or something, I do feel guilt for leaving when he gets home so most times I make him tag along with me for so called "quality time"). I always forget the answer to his question and think "yeah I guess I should get it done during the day"...until I do something crazy like take my 3 yr old to the store. The answer comes rushing back as I endure the painful experience. I think I let enough time go by between episodes that I slowly forget what happened last time and that it really isn't a good idea(kind of like having a baby, isn't it amazing how we can forget the pain and nine months of ugh and get excited to do it all over again) well I'm pretty sure the shopping experience has the same effect.

So I thought to myself I will just run into Ross (first mistake - note to self don't think). I knew exactly what I wanted and needed so this should be fast right (second mistake - apparently I was still thinking). What should have been a 1/2 hr. - hour tops stop turned into a 2 hr. torture test of patience and act nice parenting while others are watching skills. All I have to say is no matter what under no circumstances do not let your toddler out of the cart. This is where the downfall behavior begins. At first things seem alright(false sense of security I assure you). Then there is the "please stay by Mommy" sweetly stated. Along with "come back here please" do you like how please is still interjected in this early phase. There was a quick game of hide and seek among this time as well. Mostly her hiding and me seeking of course. Whatever you do do not pass by children's toys, clothes or shoes. BIG mistake. Off come the shoes to try on every pair in sight(I will give her a little space on this one she is a girl). Try to avoid the dressing room also this is another trap of torture. Of course my little darling wants to try on something too. And of course she insists that she pick it out, expect to stay in that department for awhile. "No that isn't your size", "I said only one sweety", "Please just pick something already".

The dressing room is another phase completely. Were talking small space - loud voice and it isn't always what you want to hear. Like "Mom I see your underwear". Not to mention the almost opening of the door while in undress and the looking under of the stall. Sorry neighbor stall lady. The 1 item that I did allow her to try on I thought was a brilliant idea until it was time to take it off. Then when I did coax it off of her she wouldn't get dressed. She just kept sticking out her bum at the mirror and said (always with the loud voice) "Mom, look at my bum bum"giggle, giggle. At this point much time has passed and I am extremely irritated. There is absolutely no luring her back into the cart the snacks where gone 5min. into the store and who needs shoes at this point. They mop there floors right? I just want to get to the front of the store as quickly as possible so I ditch the dress that she tried on(I never intended to buy it) and we hurry off. But apparently she is no oblivious 3 yr. old she looked our cart up and down and realized that dress wasn't there. Arms fold in a huff and she starts back toward the dressing room. AAAAHHHHHH! I am starting all bribery at this point. "I will give you a special prize later if you will just come with mommy." It worked, well enough to get to the front of the store. This is when she insists that I hold her. Standing in line waiting alright I think I can handle this. Unfortunately you need two hands to properly check out so I try to put her down and I get the tight arms around the neck and the dreaded leg lift. Need I remind anyone about the loud voice. I insist that I can't hold her the checkout lady is waiting and watching. She lets go in a huff and walks away. At this point if I can see a glimpse, hear her voice and watch the doors I am feeling pretty good. Checkout really was the quickest thing in the store. Hallelujah for that. You may think this is the end, I have made it, that wasn't so bad. Well getting out the door and into the car was a whole other test that I wasn't aware was required. The test goes something like this. With a smile on your face(people are still watching) chase down your daughter with a big purse and bag in your hand oh and don't forget her shoes. Then get out of the store and proceed to carry your screaming child with everything else(dang Ross doesn't believe in letting their carts outside) to the car. Find the keys, open the door, avoid the fist and fight for your life to get the buckle of the car seat fastened. Shut the door and wipe the sweat off your brow take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that you are not going to forget this. Well at least until I somehow magically forget.

And this is why I magically forget. How can you not love a face like that? The sweetness is all there. And I guess if I have to experience the 2 hrs. of torture every few weeks to have this pure joy then bring it on.